1. You love someone. You open yourself up to suffering, and that’s the sad truth. Maybe they’ll break your heart, maybe you’ll break their heart and you’ll never be able to look at yourself in the same way. Those are the risks. You see two people and you think they belong together, but nothing happens. The thought of losing so much control over personal happiness is unbearable. That’s the burden. Like wings, they have weight, we feel that weight on our backs, but they are a burden that lifts us. Burdens that allow us to fly.
2. If you fall in love with the cheers, you will be crushed by the boos. The same crowd that cheers you on one minute will boo you the next. You are not supposed to be part of the in crowd, but part of the love revolution. Your purpose has to be greater than popularity. Do not confuse success with victory. Madonna was successful. Mother Theresa was victorious. One changed her world, the other changed the world.
3. I don’t want good, and I don’t want good enough. I want can’t sleep, can’t breathe without you love.
4. I know these will all be stories someday. And our pictures will become old photographs. We’ll all become somebody’s Mom or Dad. But right now, these moments are not stories. This is happening… I can see it. This one moment when you know you’re not a sad story. You are alive, and you stand up and see the lights on the buildings and everything that makes you wonder. And you’re listening to that song and that drive with the people you love most in this world. And in this moment, I swear, we were infinite.
5. Maybe you’re trying too hard or not hard enough. Maybe you’re doing the right thing in the wrong place. Or the wrong thing in the right place. Maybe you’re loving the one who doesn’t deserve it. Or not loving the one who does. Whether you’re smiling or crying, you’re alive, even if you feel it or not. You’re gonna make choices that will lead you to sadness and happiness, but the only way you’ll know the difference between the two is if you try.
6. Being in love is a good thing, but it’s not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole new life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now, no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last; but feelings come and go. And in fact, whatever people say, the state called “being in love” usually does not last.
If the old fairytale ending “They lived happily ever after” is taken to mean “They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they we’re married,” then it says what probably never was nor ever could be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were. Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships?
But of course, ceasing to be “in love” need not to mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense- love as distinct from “Being in love”—is not merely a feeling. IT is a deep unity maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which both partners ask, and recieve, from God.
They can have this love for each other at even moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be “in love” with someone else.
“Being in love” first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run:
Being in love was the explosion that started it.
7. There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To men, that is the true essence of beauty.
8. How do you know when it’s over? Maybe when you feel more in love with your memories than with the person standing in front of you.
9. It’s because you’re letting the fairytales you grew up hearing in storybooks and the baseless ideals of love cloud your mind. Love isn’t easy. Especially the really good kind. It’s difficult and you’ll want to rip your hair out just as many days as you’ll find the wind at your back. But it’s worth it. It’s worth fighting for.
10. But becoming fearless isn’t the point. That’s impossible. It’s learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it, that’s the point.
11. Someone once told me to always live for the little things in life. Live for the 5 A.M sunrises and 5 P.M sunsets where you’ll see colors in the sky that don’t usually belong. Live for road trips and bike rides with music in your ears and the wind in your hair. Live for days when you’re surrounded by your favorite people who make you realize that the world is not a cold, harsh place. Live for the little things because they will make you realize that this is what life is about; this is what it means to be alive.
12. We run circles perpetually around the things we want in life and that only leaves our busy heads spinning- if only it was easier to understand the things inside the shell we were made from, and the things outside of it, too. Life is the chaining of feelings and as crazy as this is to say, my life, even the stars are exhausted.
13. You want me to be completely honest? I always have been terrified of love. To slow dance with bliss and the prevailing chance of complete misery. Knowing that it will either save me or it will cripple me. For if there is one thing beautiful in this crumbling world: it is love. The curling of souls. But God, if there is one thing horrific in it, too, then it is most surely loving something with your entirety, only to have it all vanish away within the hint of a second.
14. How bravely beautiful it is, that sometimes, the sea wants the city, even when it has been told its entire life it was meant for shore.
15. An amazing thing happens when you get honest with yourself and start doing what you love, what makes you happy. Your life literally slows down. You stop wishing for the weekend. You stop merely looking forward to special events. You begin to live in each moment and you start feeling like a human being. You just ride the wave that is life, with this feeling of contentment and joy. You move fluidly, steadily, calm and graceful. A veil is lifted, and a whole new perspective is born.
16. In nineteen minutes, you can mow the front lawn, color your hair, watch a third of a hockey game. In nineteen minutes, you can bake scones or get a tooth filled by a dentist; you can fold laundry for a family of five. Nineteen minutes is how long it took the Tennessee Titans to sell out of tickets to the playoffs. It’s the length of a sitcom, minus the commercials. It’s the driving distance from the Vermont border to the town of Sterling, New Hampshire. In nineteen minutes, you can order a pizza and get it delivered. You can read a story to a child or have your oil changed. You can walk a mile. You can sew a hem. In nineteen minutes, you can stop the world, or you can just jump off of it.
17. I don’t have a favorite season, I have a favorite feeling. It’s the windows down, silent back roads with dirty bare feet feeling. It’s when I can walk straight outside without pausing to fish out a jacket. It is the curtains dancing around my room because of the cool breeze that pushes against the fabric. It is sunsets after dessert and grass as my pillow. The sound of lawnmowers, of falling leaves, and rain against the window. Pockets of shade and walks along a gravel road. I don’t have a favorite season, I have a favorite feeling.
18. Create a life that feels good on the inside- not just one that looks good on the outside.
19. I should have never let myself get my hopes up. Because in the end, hope is the one who screws you over. It gives you all these dreams of how things could be, and then, just like that, they get taken away from you.
20. And in the end, we were all just humans, drunk on the idea that love- only love- could heal our brokenness.
21. There will be a few times in your life when all your instincts tell you to do something, something that defines logic, upsets your plans and may seem crazy to others. When that happens, you do it. Listen to your instincts and ignore everything else. Ignore logic, ignore the odds, ignore the complications, and just go for it.