The best view comes after the hardest climb.

2016 has been a whirlwind – I feel like I’ve aged 10 years this year because this year has felt like it’s taken 10 years to be over! 2016 has just been beautiful and enchanting but also so awful and chaotic. There have been days where I’ve felt like I was a glass doll that was on the verge of breaking. There were days where I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders and couldn’t find the space to breathe. More often than not, there were times where I felt bulletproof because I was reminded that my problems and the things that I’ve gone through this year don’t measure up to how great God is, because in the end, my problems don’t matter – he does. Those days remind me to be humbled that this life is mine.

The good…

In May, I flew out to Woodstock, GA  to see my cousin (who’s been more like a big brother to me throughout my life) get married to his gorgeous bride. I got to see my brand new cousin-in-law walk across the stage and finally put the “RN” behind her new last name – something that she’s worked so incredibly hard for.  Throughout my time in Georgia, I’ve gotten to see aunts and uncles and cousins that I haven’t seen in several years and was so thrilled to not only meet new family members, but to reconnect with old ones. I loved getting to love on these two and share in their excitement with them as they start their new lives together.

In June, I reapplied to UT, changed my major, found a place to live, packed up all of my belongings and moved to a brand new city within three weeks. I’ve met new friends and reconnected with old ones. I’ve gone from being dependent to being even more independent than I ever could’ve imagined. I’ve gone from a world that I was comfortable and secure in to a world that absolutely terrified me. I’ve loved every single second of it and haven’t looked back.

In October, I got over my fear of College Station {hook ’em forever} and drove four hours to see my younger cousin get married to the woman of his dreams. I have never seen two people more in love and and more committed to walking towards Jesus than these two. Their marriage is a marriage that we should all strive for. And the coolest thing???  They get to chase Jesus for the rest of their lives together, y’all – how wonderful is that?!

In November, after waiting 6 long years, I was finally able to get my class ring. All of the blood, sweat, tears and anxiety/panic attacks that I’ve had through the past 6 years completely washed away. I have never felt such relief and excitement as I did that day. I did it. And in a year, I will finally be able to say that I am a  Texas Ex. And I. Can’t. Wait.

Two weeks ago, I was very fortunate to see my hero retire his jersey. I’ve watched Tim Duncan play for the Spurs for 19 years – I was 4 years old when he started playing for the Spurs. I’ve lived through 5 championships. I’ve lived through countless heartbreaks and hard games. I’ve lived through near heart attacks and exciting games. I’ve lived through rivalries between us and the Lakers, Suns, Hornets, Mavericks, Heat, and Cavaliers. I’ve lived through Duncan’s 3 point shot against the Suns in 2008 to force double OT. I’ve lived through Joey Crawford ejecting Duncan for laughing. I’ve lived through the agony and the ghost town that San Antonio was when Duncan nearly left for Orlando in 2000. I’ve lived through thousands of corny HEB commercials. And the greatest thing of all, I got to treasure these 19 years because I made those memories with my dad by my side for the rest of my life. I cried like a baby that day and most girls have female role models, but his humility, grace and love for the game made him mine.

And on with the bad..

I think this year was meant to be a year full of lessons for me and I think the really, really hard lessons that I’ve had to learn this year, whilst painful in that exact moment, were lessons that were crucial to learn.

My dream to be a nurse died. I struggled for months because I felt that my dream to be a nurse was taken away from me. I felt like I lost a part of myself because I didn’t know what I was supposed to do with my life because I’ve had that dream for so long – it was what I was supposed to do. I felt that everything that I’ve worked for suddenly didn’t matter. I felt like I was letting not only myself down, but I was letting absolutely every single person around me down . I cried for days and slept for most of that week because I didn’t want to face reality.  I felt like a failure for being in college for 6 years and living life at a colossally different pace, while most of my friends have already graduated and are on to exciting life milestones like getting engaged, married and having babies.

And then, as it always does, bad things have a way of reformulating itself to become better than you’ve ever could’ve imagined. I reapplied for UT and changed my major to elementary education and was re-admitted. I started my education classes this past semester and was not expecting much. Oh, how I was wrong! I fell in love with my classes and met some wonderful people along the way. Teaching has it’s challenges and you’re never going to be perfect at anything you do. But man, oh, man, how rewarding is it to see the lightbulbs go off in a child’s mind?

I’ve had so many wonderful teaching influences throughout my life and I hope to be half the teacher to my students as they were to me (looking at you, Mr. Brown!) The biggest teacher that I’ve had this semester was Jesus showing me that the plan that you have for yourself isn’t necessarily the plan He has for you. I’ve been so consumed by what I wanted that I completely and utterly failed to listen to what He wanted. If I had just opened my ears and my heart and talked to God, things probably would’ve worked out completely differently. It is no secret that Jesus and I had so many fights this year, but my relationship with Him grows more and more each day. And I wouldn’t trade a single second of it for anything.

And when the clock strikes 12:00, my 25th year begins (and somehow, the idea of being a quarter of a century old is not quite as terrifying as this year has been). And tomorrow, so will 2017. And I hope that this year is full of lessons and love and laughter and chasing Jesus.

Happy New Year.

 

 

 

Advertisements

The fact that our heart yearns for something Earth can’t supply must be proof that Heaven must be our home.

 

{one..}

He’s the one that holds the keys. He’s the One that holds the keys to overcome the grave. He takes broken peices and makes a masterpeice. He takes things that are insignificant and makes it singificant.

 

Screen Shot 2016-05-24 at 12.13.26 AM

{two.}

My life is too short not to love the story God has for me.

{three.}

Our lives are a collection of stories. Truths about who we are, what we believe, what we came from, how we struggle, and how we are strong. When we can let go of what people think, and own our story, we gain access to our worthiness – the feeling that we are enough just as we are and that we are worthy of love and belonging.

{four.}

Sometimes, you look up and there just seems to be many more stars than ever before. They burn brighter and brighter and they shine longer and they never vanish into your periphery when you turn your head. It’s as if they come out for us and remind us that their light took so long to come to us, that if we never had the patience to wait, we never would have seem them here, tonight, like this. That as much as it hurts, sometimes, it’s all you can do. Wait, endure, and keep shining, knowing that eventually, your light will reach where it’s supposed to reach and shine for who it’s supposed to shine for. It’s never easy, but it’s always worth it.

71f37da2ba6a5adc6727addf96b2a90f

{five.}

I’ve learned that life isn’t about serving yourself. It’s about serving God. Maybe the way we’re supposed to serve God is different than how we think we’re supposed to serve God. Maybe the way that we’re supposed to serve God is by being unabashadly happy in everything we’re doing. Maybe serving God means taking every detour life takes us in stride.

 

Screen Shot 2016-05-29 at 11.56.19 PM

 

{six.}

Her heart was wild, but I didn’t want to catch it; I wanted to run with it – to set mine free.

Screen Shot 2016-05-30 at 12.06.49 AM.png

 

{seven.}

He is faithful when I am not. He is constant when I am not. He is everything when I am nothing. Yet – He says that I am HIS.

Screen Shot 2016-05-30 at 12.08.11 AM.png

{eight.}

Living a grateful life creates more abundance, acceptance and appreciations.

Screen Shot 2016-05-30 at 12.09.19 AM

 

{nine.}

Child, why did no one ever teach you that you cannot turn people into homes? People are ever changing, ever flowing. They will disappear with everything you put inside them. Still, your home does have a heartbeat. But it isn’t one locked in anyone else’s chest. Just look inside your own.

 

{ten.}

There is power in looking silly and not caring that you do.

 

Screen Shot 2016-05-30 at 12.12.35 AM.png

{eleven.}

Anything that annoys you is teaching you patience. Anyone who abandons you is teaching you how to stand up on your own two feet. Anything the rangers you is teaching you forgiveness and compassion. Anything that has power over you is teaching you how to take your power back. Anything you hate is teaching you unconditional love. Anything you fear is teaching you courage to overcome your fear. Anything you can’t control is teaching you how to let go.

 

Screen Shot 2016-05-30 at 12.13.21 AM.png

{twelve.}

That is why we need to travel. If we don’t offer ourselves to the unknown, our senses dull. Our world becomes small and we lose our sense of wonder. Our eyes don’t lift to the horizon; our ears don’t hear the sounds around us. The edge is both comfortable and limiting. We wake up one day and find that we have lost our dreams in order to protect our days. Don’t let yourself become one of these people. The fear of the unknown and the lure of the comfortable will conspire to keep you from thanking the chances the traveler has to take.But if you take them, you will never regret your choice.

~{Kent Newborn, Letters to My Son.}

 

Screen Shot 2016-05-30 at 12.17.04 AM

 

{thirteen.}

Something very beautiful happens to people when their world has fallen apart: a humility , a nobility, a higher intelligence emerges at the point when our knees hit the floor.

~ {Marianne Williamson}

Screen Shot 2016-05-30 at 12.23.30 AM.png

 

{fourteen.}

Be brave enough to break your own heart.

Screen Shot 2016-05-30 at 12.14.01 AM

 

{fifteen.}

That’s when I realized what a true friend was. Someone who would always love you – the imperfect you, the confused you, the wrong you – because that’s what people are supposed to do.

 

Screen Shot 2016-05-30 at 12.27.53 AM.png

{sixteen.}

You’re a God who has everything. And still, you want me.

Screen Shot 2016-05-30 at 12.28.43 AM.png

{seventeen.}

You only have one heart to give and one mind to lose. Fall in love with someone who will take them both.

Screen Shot 2016-05-30 at 12.30.53 AM.png

{eighteen.}

There’s so much more to life than finding someone who will want you, or being sad over someone who doesn’t. There’s a lot of wonderful time to be spent discovering yourself without hoping someone will fall in love with you along the way, and it doesn’t need to be painful or empty. You need to fill yourself up with love. Not anyone else. Become a whole being on your own. Go on adventures, fall asleep in the woods with friends, wander around the city at night, sit in a coffee shop on your own, leave notes in library books, dress up for yourself, give to others, and smile a lot. Do all things with love, but don’t romanticize life like you can’t survive without it. Live for yourself and be happy on your own. It isn’t any less beautiful. I promise.

 

Screen Shot 2016-05-30 at 12.32.16 AM.png

{nineteen.}

He loved us. Not because we were lovable, but because He is love.

Screen Shot 2016-05-30 at 12.33.14 AM.png

{twenty.}

I’d rather die whispering Your name than live an empty life shouting my own.

Screen Shot 2016-05-30 at 12.35.17 AM.png

God’s plans will always be greater and more beautiful than all your disappointments.

Most of y’all know how much life has challenged me this year. My plans have changed and my life have changed within the time span of a week – I’m no longer on the path to become a nurse. Upon realizing that my life was changing in such a drastic way – a path that I’ve been planning to succeed in for the past 6 years is just suddenly gone – how God could suddenly change my life around with the flash of a moment. How everything I’ve ever worked for was just suddenly reduced to tears and pain. But in that moment, I was seeing God show me a different path – teaching – I’d still get to work with children and I’d get to see them grow; both in life and learning. I’d get to see them grow from tiny little kindergartners to {hopefully} high school and beyond – much like many of my teachers who have made an impact on my life and are still seeing me grow beyond my years.

Nursing school was challenging – full of tears, and happiness, and excitement and sorrow. Of holding newborns to taking care of those who were wise beyond their years but were spending their days in a hospital bed with illnesses and crepitations. Oh, how I loved taking care of these wonderful patients! And how I loved learning from these wonderful teachers as well! I learned more about myself and the kind of person that I want to be from  listening to these people – their lectures full of life and and laughter, bringing joy to future nurses everywhere by showing us how even though life is difficult, that there’s always something to be joyous about! I loved learning the things I was learning – from med-surg to pediatrics. I learned things that I can use when I have kids of my own.  During the past year, I have learned so many valuable life lessons. Truth to be told, my heart is still sad – I’d love nothing more than to hold babies all day and take care of them so that they would grow wise and strong, like I’ve been planning to do since I was a little girl. But the other part of my heart is still joyous because I get to see these little children absolutely grow through teaching – I’d get to see the lightbulbs go off in their little heads. I’d get to see them grow into adults who are learning to love and be loved. I’d get to see them have children of their own who will probably have me as a teacher someday. I’d get to see that.

I strongly believe that the people I’ve met this year – both my classmates and teachers – have molded me into the person I was supposed to be. I just didn’t know it yet. They listened to me rant and cry and whine about how hard nursing school is. They listened to me freak out when I didn’t think I could do it. They listened to my joy when I passed a nerve-wracking exam because I had been having trouble when they were excelling. They supported me. And loved me. They cheered for me. They basked in my sorrow when things didn’t turn out the way that I (and everybody else) wanted it to. They shared the stress and the pain and the freak-out sessions with me. We were in this together.

And now, I’m staring a new path. A new life. And as much as I wish I were walking this beautiful path with them, I will be okay. Because every single one of them will make incredible nurses. Just like I will be an incredible teacher. I have SO much faith in them and my heart soars to know that God has called them on that path. I would never  be the one to tell you that at in any given day, I wouldn’t want to have any one of them to be my nurse. Because I trust each and every single one of them with my life. My heart will always be filled with joy to see them advance throughout their nursing career. If there is anything that I’ve learned during my time in nursing school, it’s that they are working towards the hardest job in the world to have. They are working for the pain of losing a patient, but more than that, they are working for the sheer joy of taking care of people because they have the heart and the compassion to do it. They are working excruciating 12 hour shifts so that you can be with your family. They put their heart and joy into what they do so that new life breathes.

 

To all of my friends: I just wish I were walking through this part of life with you. I can’t wait to see where life takes you. I am so incredibly proud of each and every single one of you. Because caring is your calling.

Because, in the end, being with Jesus is the happy ending to our fairytales.

In every storybook, the story and the ending is always the same. The girl dreams about her perfect man, a perfect proposal and the white dress. She dreams about what her soulmate will look like and how so swept up she’ll be in his love. It’s not something new when a girl tells you that she has a list of qualities that she wants to have in a guy. Someone who’s not only handsome, but respectful. Someone who loves her family (and his as well). Someone who loves adventure and is constantly trying something new. Someone who wants a big family, just like she does. And most importantly, someone who is Godly and loves God more than he loves her.

Is that necessarily my list? No. We’ve all been taught as children to look at life like this enormous fairytale. That everything will happen the way we want it to, and in the order the way we want it to. You’ll grow up, leave home and go to college, get engaged to the perfect person, get married and have kids. And, when it doesn’t happen, you start to start to wonder where you messed up or what’s wrong with you. You start to wonder if there’s something that you did that was so wrong, that God isn’t giving you the desires of your heart. But life isn’t a fairytale. And things don’t happen the way they’re supposed to. Sometimes, things happen and we have no control over it. But God always has control over every single aspect of our lives. We just don’t see it physically happening until we give ourselves to God and we learn to trust him after placing our hearts in His hands.

“Why is it that God is so quick to give other’s the desires of their heart, but yet, at the same time, He’s so quick to hand out ‘no’s’ to others?”

Just because God gives you a handful of “no’s,” doesn’t mean that He’s never going to say yes. Because when you start to believe that you’re unworthy and that you don’t matter and that nobody will ever feel that way about you, you’re letting Satan win. You’re letting Satan consume your mind and he’s trying to destroy your image of God. God works in His own time. He gave us 90+ years to enjoy His blessings. I’ll be the first to say that God never ceases to amaze me because He never steers my life in a path that I’ve ever thought I’d be. He wants you to lean on Him and not worry about the storm. Jesus allows things to break you down so that He can build you up into everything He wants you to be. Maybe God is calling you to a life of singleness to serve Him. Maybe it’s in God’s plan for you to wait because He has that perfect person for you to spend the rest of your life with – the perfect person that will show you what it means to love and serve Him. Maybe He’s asking you to wait because He knows that getting married and having kids right now will end up in heartbreak and He doesn’t want that for you. Maybe he’s making you wait because he wants to introduce you to the person that fits your heart and soul like a glove so that you don’t settle for anyone that’s unworthy of you.

My fairytale was that at 23, I’d at least have had a serious relationship. At 24, I wanted to be engaged to the love of my life, and at 26, I wanted to be married. At 28, I wanted to start having children. I’ve even found myself picturing my wedding and trying to dream up the perfect guy like every little girl has done in her life. Is my life working out the way I’ve wanted it to? Not one bit. I’m still working on my college degree after taking several left turns. I’m no closer to having that serious relationship and I’m not the least embarrassed about it. Because I know how much that means to me and I know how much that must mean to God to save myself for someone that I know I have serious feelings for. Being in a relationship is something that is very serious to me and it’s not something that I take lightly. I’ve learned that I can’t settle for anyone less than I deserve, and I know, that if it means that I will be single until my 50’s, then it’s worth waiting forever for. Is it naiive? Quite possibly. But God is constantly working on His plan for me and I refuse to insert myself in the middle of it and change it. Because as much as I’ve failed Him, He’s constantly pursuing me every second of everyday, and for me, that’s enough.

Life happens. Heartbreak happens. But maybe, that’s the beauty of it. Maybe it’s supposed to happen to bring us closer to God. Life would be boring without an adventure. If things were supposed to happen exactly the way we’ve dreamed, then there wouldn’t be any surprises.

“But, seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all those things will be given to you as well. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” (Matthew 6:33, 16:25)

Because, in the end, being with Jesus is the happy ending to our fairytale, right?

You take my heart and breathe it back to life.

{one.}

Until we’re perfect or bulletproof, before we walk into the arena, we ultimately sacrifice relationships and opportunities that may not be recoverable, we squander our precious time, and we turn our back on our gifts, those unique contributions that only we can make. Perfect and bulletproof are suductive, but they don’t exist in the human experience. We must walk into the arena, whatever it may be — a new relationship, an important meeting, our creative process, or a difficult family conversation — with courage and the willingness to engage. Rather than sitting on the sidelines and hurling judgment and advice, we must dare to show up.

Google+

{two.}

She was born wild and curious. A cage is no place for someone like that. “I play with the fire of my own truth,” she told me, “I will burn for the things I love.”

Let it goooooo, LET IT GOOOOO.

{three.}

She brought out the storm in people, because she knew wherever there were dark skies and wild winds, lied a truth – a truth that described how much love one can leave behind the moment they accept all the pain they have lived. And that is all she ever wanted, for everyone around her to embrace their stories and make them falll in love with their own violent winds.

The sign of a beautiful person is that they always see beauty in others.

{four.}

Soulmates aren’t the ones who make you happiest, no. They’re instead the ones who make you feel the most. Burning edges and scars and stars. Old pains and pangs, captivation and beauty. Strain and shadows and worrying and yearning. Sweetness and madness and dreamlike surrender. They hurl you into the abyss. They taste like hope.

Have a big heart live the Christian way have all faith in God and Jesus no one will love you and your loved ones like them !

{five.}

Moments. Our lives are made up of a series of moments. If you’re lucky, youll get to have hundreds, even thousands of them. There will be small moments. Moments when you’re doing something so mundane, you won’t realize you’re in a moment. There will also be big moments. Life changing ones. These ones will be in your memory for an awfully long time. Keep them all safe. This is a moment.

R. M. Drake @rmdrk Instagram photos | Websta

{six.}

I can see it. This one moment when you know you’re not a sad story. You are alive, and you stand up and see the lights on the buildings and everything that makes you wonder. And you’re listening to that song on that drive with the people you love most in this world. And in this moment, I swear, we are infinite.

I wish I could have been your security.. I wish I could have been the reason you went to bed without a worry.. I'll never stop loving you.. I'll always want then very best for you.. And I hope I can still bring you candy and a green tea when were old..

{seven.}

And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through or how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the strom is really over. But one thing is certain: when you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in.

♥- 'Proverbs 16:1(KJV) The preparations of the heart in man, and the answer of the tongue, is from the Lord . ('Proverbs 12:5) For the thoughts of the Righteous are Right: but the counsels of the wicked are deceit. ('Psalms 11:5) The Lord trieth the Righteous : but the wicked and him that loveth violence His soul hateth. - ('Proverbs 10:16) The labour of the Righteous tendeth to Life: the fruit of the wicked to sin.~ So we must submit to God and humble ourselves under His mighty hand so that we

{eight.}

She was never crazy. She just didn’t let her heart settle in a cage. She was born wild, and sometimes, we need people like her. For it’s the horrors in her heart which cause the flames in ours. And she was always willing to burn for everything she ever loved.

..

{nine.}

You do not get to choose the events that come your way nor the sorrows that interrupt your life. They will likely be a surprise to you, catching you off guard and unprepared. You may hold your head in your hands and lament in your weak condition and wonder what you ought to do. To suffer, that is common to all. To suffer and still keep your compusure, your faith, and your smile, that is remarkable. Pain will change you more profoundly than success or good fortune. Suffering shapes your perception of life, your values and priorities, and your goals and dreams. Your pain is changing you.

{ten.}

The older you get, the more you realize that it isn’t about the material things, or pride, or ego. It’s about our hearts and who they beat for.

the son of god knows perfectly & understands.

{eleven.}

I used to think that when people fell in love, they just landed where they landed, and they had no choice in the matter afterward. And maybe that’s true of beginnings, but it’s not true of this, now.

Victoria Erickson (facebook: Victoria Erickson, writer)

{twelve.}

Sometimes, contentment is a matter of will. You have to look at what you have right in front of you, at what it could be, and stop measuring it against what you’ve lost. I know this to be wise and true, just as I know that pretty much no one can do it.

stars

{thirteen.}

Alone had always felt like an actual place to me, as if it weren’t a state of being, but rather a room where I could retreat to be who I really was.

You are terrifying and strange and beautiful, something  not everyone knows how to love.

{fourteen.}

Sometimes, I think about al that I’ve done and gone through that no one even knows about and I get sad thinking that no one will ever know about all these things that make me, me, but then I think maybe it’s best that these things die with me. Maybe, that’s not such a bad thing.

.

{fifteen.}

The fact that our hearts yearn for something Earth can’t supply is proof that Heaven must be our home.

comfortable with being alone quotes quote life wise alone advice lifequotes lifelessons wisdom

{sixteen.}

The devil doesn’t come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you’ve ever wished for.

{seventeen.}

During a storm, hope gives us the ability to look at things as they are and still be confident that something better is coming.

We know you're a dreamer, a doer and a thinker. The possibility is endless and you know that.... Don't you just love being the amazing entrepreneur that you truly are...<3

{eighteen.}

There’s always another level up. There’s always another ascension. More grace, more light, more generosity, more compassion, more to grow.

Show up in every single moment like you're meant to be there. - Marie Forleo @lewishowes

{nineteen.}

I’ve lived. I’ve really, really lived. I’ve failed. I’ve been devastated. I’ve been broken. I’ve gone to hell and back. And I’ve also known joy. And passion. and I’ve had a great love. See, death for me, is not justice. It’s an end of a beautiful journey.

All beings tremble before violence. All fear death, all love life. See yourself in others. Then whom can you hurt? What harm can you do? -Buddha

{twenty.}

Dear human:

You’ve got it all wrong. You didn’t come here to master unconditional love. That is where you came from and where you’ll return. You came here to learn personal love. Universal love. Messy love. Sweaty love. Crazy love. Broken love. Whole love. Infused with divinity. Lived through the grace of stumbling. Demonstrated through the beauty of messing up. Often. You didn’t come here to be perfect. You already are. You came here to be gorgeously human. Flawed and fabulous. And then to rise again into remembering. But unconditional love? Stop telling that story. Love, in truth, doesn’t need ANY other adjectives. It doesn’t require modifiers. It doesn’t require the condition of perfection. It only asks that you show up. And do your best. That you stay present and feel fully. That you shine and fly and laugh and cry and hurt and heal and fall and get back up and play and work and live and die as YOU. It’s enough. It’s plenty.

We have to continually be jumping off of cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.

{One.}

The longer you wait for something, the more you appreciate it when you get it. Because anything worth having is definitely worth waiting for.

"I am sure that God keeps no one waiting unless he sees that it is good for him to wait."- C.S. Lewis

{two.}

And above all, watch with glittering eyes, the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.

Screen Shot 2014-03-30 at 9.05.53 PM

{three.}

There comes a point where it all becomes too much. When we get too tired to fight anymore. So we give up. That’s when the real work begins. To find hope where there seems to be absolutely none at all.

{four.}

Perhaps, the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other; when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings, having patience with someone who has let us down or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best out of each other.

{five.}

I like nonsense. It wakes up brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living; it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope, which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life’s realities.

{six.}

Gratitude is a powerful process for shifting your energy and brining more of what you want into your life. Be grateful for what you already have and you will attract more good things.

{seven.}

I am self-propelled; fueled from within. I appreciate people’s opinions, but I’m not attached to them. I learned a long time ago, that if I give them power to feed me, I also give them power to starve me.

{eight.}

My darling, you can’t see it, can you? How like the moon you are. Both of you so timid in yourselves; hiding pieces from the world. Then, there are those rare moments when you both are full, and it becomes hard to look away. You are beautiful.

{nine.}

She is delightfully chaotic; a beautiful mess. Loving her is a splendid adventure.

{ten.}

I can’t think of many things more attractive than a beautiful person whose beauty isn’t what actually attracts you.

{eleven.}

We waste so many days waiting for the weekend. So many nights waiting for morning. Our lust for future comfort is the biggest thief of life.

{twelve.}

Perfect and bulletproof  are seductive, but they don’t exist in the human experience. we must walk into the arena, whatever it may be- a new relationship, an important meeting, our creative process, or a difficult family conversation- with courage and the willingness to engage. Rather than sitting on the sidelines and hurling judgment and advice, we must dare to show up.

{thirteen.}

I like people who have a sense of individuality. I love expression and anything awkward and imperfect because that’s natural and that’s real.

{fourteen.}

Did you ever do this? Did you ever think back on all the times you’ve had with someone and you just replay it over and over again and look for those first signs of trouble?

{fifteen.}

To me, a lady is not frilly, flouncy, flippant, frivolous and fluff-brained, but she is gentle, she is gracious, she is godly, and she is giving. You and I have the gift of femininity…the more womanly we are, the more manly men will be and the more God is  glorified. Be women, be only women, be real women in obedience to God.

{sixteen.}

You are proof that God is an artist. He took you, and took your sin. He made you clean, washed white with blood. You became a canvas for Him to paint images of grace and glory upon. You became a blank page for Him to write sonnets of peace and love, and He named you worthy. You became a stone slab which God is now chipping away at, creating in you a new heart and shaping you into who you were always meant to be: His child.

{seventeen.}

It feels so good- to know that you’re not alone anymore. To be all alone again? A little hard- I guess. There are times- when you’re broken into pieces. Don’t even feel like you still exist. Why are we so fragile? Some people just continue to stay with what hurts them the most. At the end of the day, I guess no one wants to feel empty inside. Maybe, that’s why some people find moving on is hard. “Something that has hurt you once will hurt you again.” Haven’t we learned anything?

{eighteen.}

You’ll need coffee shops and sunsets and road trips. Airplanes and passports and new songs and old songs, but people more than anything else. You will need other people and you will need to be that other person to someone else, a living, breathing, screaming invitation to believe better things.

{nineteen.}

I learned the hard way that I cannot always count on others to respect my feelings, even if I respect theirs. Being a good person doesn’t guarantee that others will be good people too. You only have control over yourself and how you choose to be as a person. As for others, you an only choose to accept them or walk away.

{twenty.}

Blessed are those who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing.

Happy New Year

I know that it’s been forever since I’ve done a write-up, but the end of 2013 has been extremely crazy for me! It’s so hard to put into words what 2013 has meant to me.  2013 has been a whirlwind- full of lessons, opportunities, laughter, and love. It’s not to say that I didn’t have my embarrassing moments or have made mistakes and missed opportunities that I wish would’ve gone differently, but I wouldn’t change or trade anything that has happened this year (or any year for that matter). If you ever asked me if there’s anything that I regret, I would tell you that I can’t think of one thing that I regret happening to me or doing because through every life lesson, every missed opportunity, and every mistake, I’ve grown extraordinarily from it.

2013 has been especially generous to me. I’ve been fortunate enough to see Lady Antebellum, The Eli Young Band (TWICE in one year), Maroon 5 and Kelly Clarkson in concert. I’ve been fortunate enough to see Texas beat OU, in what might possibly be my last Red River Rivalry game (36-20 FOREVER). I’ve been fortunate enough to see the Longhorns won their last home game against Texas Tech, even though they disappointed in the Alamo Bowl. I’ve been fortunate enough to see Mack Brown coach his entire career with the Longhorns during last 15 years with my favorite team and was inspired by the way he always coached with dignity and class. Even though this has been a disappointing year for my sports teams, seeing as how they’ve gotten really far but have stopped a little short of their goals, I’m extremely proud of watching the Spurs make it to the Finals and defied the odds when everyone said that they wouldn’t make it out of the second round. I’ve been fortunate enough to see them battle against Miami with 50,000 of my closest Spurs fans. I’ve gotten lucky enough to be selected to be apart of the Sprite Fan Tunnel to high-five the players as they came running out of the tunnel. I definitely squealed with delight when Tony Parker, one of my all-time favorite players, answered a question that I asked him. I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to go to Spurs games and Longhorn games, semi-formals, concerts, summer trips to the beach, and attending a cornucopia of dinners with my best friends after coming back from a long few months at school.

I’ve learned that it’s perfectly okay to laugh at yourself when things don’t always go exactly the way you’ve planned them to go. I’ve learned that you can’t always get what you want, and that’s not always necessarily a bad thing. I’ve learned that sometimes people will disappoint you, but you have to get right back up and realize that deep down, they’ve always been the same person you’ve known forever. I’ve learned that it’s okay to hate the idea of change, but sometimes, change is exactly what you need. I’ve learned that as much as you’ve had a dream for people to turn out the way you’ve always dreamed of them turning out to be, that they will follow their own paths and sometimes, being supportive is all you can do. I’ve learned that as much as I hate my job sometimes, that I’m incredibly lucky to have a job that allows me to pay off student loans when other people are struggling to find one to support a family. I’ve learned that even though I was extremely hesitant to grow a year older, that I take for grated how amazing my life is because some people don’t even live to be another year older. More than anything, the greatest lesson that I’ve learned this year is that things have a way of working things out for itself and that God definitely places the teeniest-tiniest moments in your life that turn out to be significant events in your life.

I don’t like to say that I have “resolutions” for the new year, because, quite frankly, within a week of making them, I forget ever making them in the first place. Resolutions shouldn’t just be a commitment that you renew every time January 1st rolls around. I am making it a point to try to be all that I can be for God, myself, friends, family, and for the strangers who’s lives that I hope to impact. I want to be a better student and become better at allowing myself to focus on my schoolwork instead of letting little things come into the way of getting into nursing school. I want to be a more understanding friend, sister, and daughter. Ultimately, I want to be somebody that people can be proud of – somebody that people would be proud to call their best friend, girlfriend, sister, and daughter.

I ended 2013 by celebrating my birthday yesterday. I’d like to say that with every birthday, you receive a great wealth of knowledge; that you’re smarter and wiser than you were the day before you entered a new year, but the only things that you carry over with you are the things you’ve learned and the people that have shaped that past year for you. It’s definitely hard having some of your best friends spread out all over the country, and I know that I’ve haven’t exactly been the best example of what a best friend should be lately. I’m definitely guilty of letting the small stuff, like school, get in the way of making new friends (and keeping them), and it’s allowed some of my friendships go to places that I don’t want them to be. I can’t tell you how thankful I am for the new friends that have come into my life this year, and I’m also insanely grateful for the incredible group of best friends that have never been anything less than there for me over the past twelve months and have been so supportive in being there through the highs and lows. I love y’all so much. You know who you are. 

So cheers, to the New Year. I hope that this year is everything you’d ever want it to be.

xoxo,

lifeisabeautifulstruggle